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A little about me...
Hi there! I'm a complete boor and an idiot, too. And selfish. Hogging the remote is just the start. I'm the kind of guy who looks at the glass as wondering how it got there. I don't have a photo of me in my car but, take my word for it, I know how to drive. I care for the environment, particularly my immediate vicinity, like if the air conditioning is working and if I have an iced tea in my hand. I like to complain and criticize, but mostly criticize, which I've managed to raise to an art form. I can't stand people who don't know how to spell judgemental. I like self-deprecating humor, especially when I'm making fun of someone else. I also hate platitudes but brevity is the soul of wit. I think racists are people who hate to run competitively. Currently, my correspondence capabilities have been suspended for "irrelevance." I think they meant "irreverence" but they insist it's not a mistake. I am not a couch potato; I have a La-Z-Boy recliner. I put myself as "athletic and toned" because, after all, these things are subjective, right? I mean, they didn't have "slouchy and paunched." They have "big and beautiful" for women but they don't have "heavyset and handsome" for men. Isn't that sexist?
About the one I'm looking for...
I'm not too fussy in this department. You have to have a pulse because I'm not into necrophilia. Okay, but if you are, I can be open-minded, too.
I'm not looking for a SugarMomma. I'm quite wealthy with the royalties I get for copyrighting the copyright logo. You know, the little "c" in the circle. That's mine. And every time you use it, I get 3.5 cents. My best invention, though, is the infinity symbol. I'll let you in on a little secret: it's the number 8 turned sideways! Ha! You know how long it took me to come up with that? And I collect some pretty beaucoup bucks for that one, too. Oh wait, that's more stuff about me. About YOU: single, widowed or divorced, if divorced for a scriptural reason, which implies that you are a woman of faith who goes to church regularly, loves the Lord, and loves the Bible, as I do. Because that's the first thing I consider after your looks, money and cars! JK
I'd just like to add...
Friends described me as indefatigable and indomitable until I complained they were being too hard. So then they said I am obtuse. Now that's more like it.. What else? I'll expect proof of gender before marriage; I'm not making that mistake again. Oh, and is it too much to ask for you to put captions on your photos? I'd like to know the name of the mountain, lake, landmark, etc., you're standing in front of so I can tell my friends I've been there. Also, if you're in a shot with a real hottie, it'd be nice if you could give her name, too, and whether she's available. This should all go without saying.
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